Over the last few weeks I’ve been doing lots of reflecting on where I’m at in life now compared to where I was a year ago, and even compared to where I was a few months ago. I’ve realized that I’m happier & more content with my life. Especially in comparison to where I was a year ago, I’m immensely happier and I like the place I’m in for the most part. I think part of it can be attributed to the fact some things are going better for me and that naturally makes me happier. But I think part of it can also be attributed to the way I handle things and react to what comes my way.

I’ve become more adaptable to situations and go with the flow more. I’ve started to only focus on what I can control, not what I can’t. There's no sense in worrying about things you have no control over. Control what you can control and forget the rest.

One factor contributing to my greater happiness is getting rid of toxic people, thoughts, & unnecessary clutter in my life. The process of eliminating those toxic people can be incredibly hard. Those people used to be some of my closest friends & knew so much about me & I knew so much about them too. It came to a point where my happiness and self esteem was being brought down because of those toxic people. Once this realization occurred, I started getting rid of toxic people and distancing myself from them for the sake and happiness of myself. 

Another part to this is getting rid of hurtful and toxic thoughts in my head. This one can be hard to work on because thoughts come and go and are triggered by so many things. It’s a continuous process that never ends, but it’s so worth it to work on pushing out thoughts that are keeping you from being happy.

I know I still have a ways to go, but I can honestly say I’m happier than I’ve been in a long time & overall life is fantastic. I’m in a good spot right now with some incredible opportunities. Happiness is all around, yet you have to actively make the choice to be happy. Some days are harder to make that choice than others, but don’t give up!! I promise it will be so so worth it to choose happiness & joy over everything else. I've also chosen to be content with my life and where I'm at 

Not Today Satan

Those who know me, know that I’m generally a happy person with a positive attitude and can usually be found with a smile on my face and laughing. There are times though when I get frustrated and bogged down with life and worried about things.

A couple weeks ago I was frustrated one night about mostly silly things that didn’t really matter in the grand scheme of it all. Because I was already frustrated, those little things that didn’t go my way just added to it and only made it worse. At the end of the day I was feeling lonely and frustrated, so I texted my brother to vent to him and just laid it all out. About 15 minutes later he showed up at my apartment and knocked on my door to ask if I wanted to go for a drive. We went for a drive while I cried some and he did most of the talking. I knew in my head that most of the things I had gotten frustrated about were dumb, but it all just added to it. He brought up some good points and forced me to talk about some things I had been ignoring and holding inside for a while. He gave me some very wise advice and bought me a frosty and nuggets from Wendy’s. (Bug nuggs for life!)

Some advice he gave me was that Satan can’t affect anything but our thoughts and feelings, so when he gets the chance and we are vulnerable, he pounces on it. He tries to tell us we aren’t good enough, we can’t do it, there’s no reason for being here, and so many other meaningless things. I know all of that isn’t true. I already know that I am good enough, I can do it, and there’s a reason for everything. In that moment of weakness though, Satan got a hold of my thoughts and feelings and tried to make me feel otherwise.

The key to getting over this and not letting those thoughts bog you down and take over your thoughts and life is to shut those thoughts out. Satan has no power over you. He doesn’t have a physical body and can’t do anything. When those times get tough and he begins to take over your thoughts, push him out. We can pray for help with not letting those thoughts from Satan enter our minds. As William Cowper said, "Satan trembles when he sees the weakest saint upon their knees." If you are feeling overwhelmed and feel like Satan is meddling in your thoughts, turn to your Heavenly Father in prayer and ask for help.

We have the choice to not let Satan meddle his way into our thoughts and feelings. Each day we have to make a choice to have positive thoughts and push any thoughts from Satan out. He has no business being in our thoughts. Here’s to not letting him take over my thoughts and ignoring him but rather follow God and trust in Him.

God stills you. Satan rushes you.
God reassures you. Satan frightens you.
God leads you. Satan pushes you.
God enlightens you. Satan confuses you.
God forgives you. Satan condemns you.
God calms you. Satan stresses you.
God encourages you. Satan discourages you.
God comforts you. Satan worries you.

Using the Enabling Powers of the Atonement

The Atonement is the supreme expression of our Heavenly Father’s love for us and also the greatest expression of the Savior’s love for the Father and for us. When we came down to earth, we were clean from sin and wrongdoing. But, we are mortal beings and are subject to opposition and temptation. None of us are perfect; we all make mistakes. Without the Atonement, we would forever be separated from our Heavenly Father. The only way for us to be saved is for someone else to rescue us. The only person who can save us is Jesus Christ, as He atoned for our sins and took our burdens upon Him.

Our Savior & Redeemer, Jesus Christ, performed the Atonement for each one of us in the Garden of Gethsemane. While he was performing the Atonement, he suffered, bled & died for all of us. He felt and went through every heartbreak, pain, affliction, trial, joy, and struggle that we have ever experienced & will ever experience. However, we can all repent and use the Atonement to become clean again.

The Atonement is not just for becoming clean again after repenting. The enabling power of the Atonement also serves to comfort, and give peace, understanding, and strength to bear our burdens with ease. How incredible that we have the Atonement to help us repent of our sins and also be comforted & feel peace & solace. We can use it at anytime, and should be using it often. I think far too often the Atonement is underutilized; we don’t use it enough. I know there have been times in my life when I have not used it to the full capacity.

But lately, I have been thinking quite a lot about how we use the Atonement for different things, depending on where we are at in life and the experiences we are going through. We should always be using the Atonement to repent, but can use the Atonement to be comforted or receive peace or feel of His love as needed. It is easy to feel that no one understands or feels what you're going through. Yet, he knows and understands our suffering because He has experienced it. With his perfect understanding, He knows how to help us. I've relied more on Christ and the Atonement to feel the enabling powers of the Atonement through trials. 

I have personally been using the enabling power of the Atonement to feel comforted and gain strength the past couple months as I’ve been struggling with a few things and trying to figure out what I’m doing next. Rather than asking for my circumstances to be changed, I’ve been trying to gain the strength that I need to get through these challenges. At times I have used the enabling power of the Atonement to feel solace after the passing of a family member or friend. I have used the Atonement to gain understanding of why His plan for me changed. My point is, we need the Atonement for different things at different times in our lives depending on where we are at and what trials we are going through.

Running to the Time of Our Own Clock

The idea of everyone being on different timelines or "clocks" has been on my mind for awhile now. Everyone goes at their own speed in college, in getting their dream job, to get married, and so much more. I'm 21 and in my senior year of college. I'll graduate this December just before turning 22. I know people who are in college and older than me. I know friends who already have their dream job and are in their early 20's. Many of my friends and people I went to school with are married, some who are younger than me. And that is all okay, it's normal to go by your own time and not rush to finish college, get married, or get your dream job.

Just the other night I saw an old friend who just got back from her mission. We got on the topic of school and how much longer I had left. When I told her I graduate this semester, her jaw nearly dropped. We’re around the same age and she’s only done a semester or two of college whereas I’ll be finished with college one semester after this spring. She was shocked that I’ve completed so much school and am so close to graduating. My point is, our clocks look different than everyone else's.

It can be difficult when you look around and think you're behind others, or you might be ahead of others. But we aren't all running on the same clock. Some clocks are slower than others, some are faster. We all go at our own pace and the events and things in our lives happen according to our time. It doesn't all happen according to one clock. Your time will come to get your dream job. While you may be waiting for your time to finally come, you will miss out on other opportunities and things that come your way. Be patient and wait for your time to come. Much of it has to do with what The Lord has in store for you and HIs timing. I had all sorts of ideas in my head of what my timeline looked like and when I’d accomplish various things. Needless to say nothing has gone according to my plan and the timing I had in mind. But ya know what? It’s turned out even better than I could have ever imagined! As I’ve allowed The Lord to take control of my “clock” and set it’s pace, everything has worked out better for me and with my best interest in mind too.

I've seen this quote about our different clocks many times and it speaks to me each time I see it:

"I know people who graduated college at 21, and didn't get a salary job until they were 27. I know people who graduated at 25 and already had a salary job. I know people who have children and are single. I know people who are married and had to wait 8-10 years to be parents. I know people who are in a relationship and love someone else. I know people who love each other and aren't together. There are people waiting to love and be loved. My point is, everything in life happens according to our time, our clock. You may look at your friends and some may seem to be ahead or behind you, but they're not. They're living according to the pace of their clock, so be patient. You're not falling behind, it's just not your time."

- Julissa Loaiza

Just remember to be patient and don’t get discouraged when you look around and see others who seem to be “beating” you to certain milestones or events in life. They’re on a different clock than you.You’ll hit that “time” in your life when it’s right for you. For now just keep running to the time of your own clock and being you. One day it will be your time.

It's All About Perspective

The other night I had a great conversation with my roommate. I wanted to go on a drive to clear my head and just talk, so my roommate tagged along. I felt like my thoughts were all over the place, but overall I was frustrated and felt like I was struggling. I spit out all my thoughts in a haphazard manner. After I explained it all, I had no idea if it any of it made any sense at all, but simply just getting it all off my chest and sharing with someone was relieving.

What my roommate said after I said how I felt stunned me in the moment and nearly had me in tears. She asked, “can I tell you what I think about you?” She proceeded to list off numerous things such as, “I see how you are so studious and get good grades. I see how you care so much about people and are always so thoughtful of others. You help Jeremy a lot. You help your family a lot. You are always thinking of how to help others. You are good about saving money at the grocery store.” She listed off many things, that was just part of what she said. I was nearly in tears when listening to what she was saying to me.

I was speechless at what she said; mostly because I didn’t see many of those things in myself. I don’t always see myself as studious. Sometimes I get good grades. Last fall semester I didn’t do as well in my classes as I had hoped. In one of my classes in particular I was just trying to keep my head above water and simply pass the class. I care a lot about people and try to be thoughtful and help my friends and family whenever I can, but sometimes I end up getting hurt because of how much I care. There are times when I wish I didn’t care so much. It seemed like for each thing she said I could think of a counterargument of how I didn’t think it was true.

This conversation left me thinking all about perspective and how my perspective varied so much from that of my roommate’s. Her perspective was from the outside looking in at my life and the little moments that make up my life. My perspective is from the inside with a thousand thoughts a minute gets clouded so easily by negative thoughts, unnecessary things, &  focusing on my challenges/trials. I can twist ideas in my head to make it seem worse or harder. I overthink things often. When I do those things, my perspective gets skewed and I don’t see things as they truly are. 

I know what I can become and what I am capable of, so I get frustrated when I am not having success and not achieving what I want to. I've been working more on taking a step back to view things as they really are and "fix" my perspective when it gets clouded because of frustration or whatever it is. "When you look at a field of dandelions, you can either see a hundred weeds, or a thousand wishes." Perspective changes everything and can make a world of difference.

Different Paths in Life

This weekend I saw one of my fave high school teachers while out and about. We had a quick conversation about how school was going, what his family has been up to, and just what's going on in my life. He mentioned how he was spending time with his children and we talked for a few minutes before saying goodbye and Merry Christmas. After talking about how school was, dating, and talking about the usual things relating to college, he unknowingly offered some words of wisdom to me. Reay said, "we are all on different paths in life." It was so good to see him and catch up for a few minutes, but I will never forget that line.

The topic of different paths has been on my mind for a couple months. College is such a fun, exciting, scary, (awkward at times), and difficult part of life. I've met some pretty amazing people in college. I think it's fascinating that of those people I've met, there's such a wide range of ages, relationship status, and progress in school. Everyone is on a different path than the next person.

When I look around at the people I'm surrounded by and especially my friends, I notice numerous differences in the paths of our lives. Many of my friends are married, engaged, or dating someone. One of my best friends just had her first baby. Some are doing really well in school, a few are even in grad school. And nearly all my friends have jobs and are working. We are all around the same age, in our twenties, yet we are so different. It can be so easy to look around and compare my life, and the path that I'm on. At times it seems that my path is going nowhere and that I will never get on the other paths that my friends are on of dating and working.

As I compare differences, it leaves me frustrated and sometimes annoyed. The way I think about it needs to change though. As my old teacher said, "we are all on different paths in life." We all started on the same path, but went different ways and ended up on different paths. Right now I'm on the path where I'm just focusing on school, and that's okay. One day I'll be on the path of dating someone, then eventually getting engaged and married. After I get married I'll have kids and start on a new path. I'll start on the path of being in the workforce full-time after completing my degree next December. I'll be young when I graduate, but that makes it all the more exciting because I have more freedom because I'm younger and will only be 21 when I graduate from college.

For now I'm going to focus on the path I am on right this minute and not compare it to the paths of others. I may be on the seemingly boring and difficult path of being in school and focusing on my classes, but it is where I need to be right now and the particular path I need to be on. My time will come when it's right for me to be on a different path. There is no need to rush anything. The time will pass anyway, so might as well enjoy the path I am on. 

Whichever path of life you may be on right now, I encourage you to enjoy it and not spend your time wishing you were on a different path. Because we are all on different paths, you can't compare your path to anyone else's because it is so different. It would be like comparing a rollercoaster to a merry-go-round. It just is so different and unique that you would end up frustrated every time you compare. We are all on different paths of life. Your time will come when it is right for you to be on other paths. You are where you are right now for a reason. Stay on the path of life you are on for right now until a different path intersects and directs you onto a new path. The new path will come only when you are ready and when you are supposed to be on a different path.

Follow Your Promptings

A few of you may remember this experience I had a couple years ago. It has been going through my mind quite a bit lately and I thought I'd share it again, especially as Thanksgiving is nearly here.

This experience happened a couple years ago. I was driving home for Thanksgiving break by myself because Jeremy was already home. I had one class on that Tuesday and couldn't leave until after class. Our class got out early & I hurried to my apartment to get my things and head home. Before I left to go home, I had a few small promptings to do some things before I left. I decided to quickly check the mail before I left (who knows why, I rarely got mail, haha) and I stopped at a gas station to get a drink. After that I left to go home. While I was driving, I had the best view of the mountains. I've seen that view while driving to and from home countless times, but just this one time I decided to stop and pull off to the side to take a few pictures since I had my camera with me. I kept driving, and knew I had enough gas to get home, but also knew that fuel was cheaper in Downey. I stopped there to fill up my tank.

I was trying to make good time and get back in time to make cookies with my aunt and cousins, then go to the new James Bond movie with my family that night. I was about 10-15 minutes away from home, when I passed the Fort Hall exit and traffic came to a halt on the interstate. I called my dad to see if he could look online or knew if there was an accident or construction. He looked online and didn't find anything. Some family friends who were driving south saw why traffic was stopped. There was a bad accident about a mile ahead of me: a semi truck driving southbound had blown a tire and lost control. The truck driver crossed the median into oncoming traffic and struck a pickup truck driving northbound. A mom and a few of her kids were in the pickup truck. One of the children was killed in this accident.  I was stuck waiting on the interstate for two hours while the victims were taken care of medically and the debris and everything from the accident was cleaned up.

At first, I was very frustrated that I was waiting there with nothing to do. I was annoyed because I couldn't do anything, couldn't turn around so I could get home the back way, and I didn't want to miss my plans for the night of making cookies and watching the new James Bond. My perspective on it changed the longer I thought about it however. Since I was not far back from the accident, it could have very well been me. I followed all of those tiny promptings to check the mail, get a Dr. Pepper, take pictures of the view, and fill up my tank. At the time those thoughts didn't seem like promptings because it was so small and didn't seem like it would make a difference. Looking back, I've counted my blessings many times that I was in tune with the Spirit and followed those seemingly small promptings. Those promptings could have very well saved my life that night two years ago. Since I was only a mile back from the accident, on the interstate going 80+ mph I could have been right there and it could have my car, instead of the pickup, that was struck by the semi-truck.

This has served as a continuous reminder to me to never ignore a prompting. I hope that you all will take heed to any promptings you may have. Even if it seems to be just a thought in the back of your head, don't ignore it! It could save your life, or someone else's life. Particularly with the holiday season approaching in only weeks, many people are in need both physically and emotionally/mentally. Reach out to those people who you 'randomly' think about. The holidays can be a lonely time for those who have lost loved ones or are struggling with various things. Even just sending a text or a note can brighten their day. Or bake some holiday treats and share with others. (This is one of my fave things to do around the holidays!) Whatever it is you are prompted to do, don't ignore it. You are getting that prompting for a reason.

Thriving, Not Just Surviving

"Live to thrive, not just survive." - The Magnolia Story
by Chip and Joanna Gaines

I feel like I haven’t been thriving lately, but just barely surviving. Going through life just surviving takes it out of you! Between all my classes that I have and group projects for several of those classes, I have had no time for much else. I’m in class from about 9 – 3 almost every day, have group project meetings at night until midnight some nights, go back home Thursday night and work all weekend, from September to November, and come back to college Sunday sometime. Then repeat it all over again. That routine gets real old, real fast.

I’ve felt so drained this first half of the semester with everything. It can take it out of you real quick. I’ve also felt very frustrated because of a few bad grades, not understanding how to do assignments, awful professors, not being able to find a job, or not having enough time for everything. The other day I took a step back and realized I wasn’t happy and was barely staying above water. Something had to change. But I couldn’t just stop completing assignments and working on group projects. What I could do was take a little bit of time for me each day to take a break from homework. Even if that was just laying down and thinking or napping for 20 minutes or planning meals for the week and cooking or baking. So far even just doing it for a few days has already made a difference. A couple weeks ago, I watched the NL Wild Card game with Jeremy before and after a group project meeting. Even if I had to ignore a few assignments, I was going to watch the baseball game no matter what #priorities.  We had pizza and got rally drinks (our choice was lemonade). I also went to bed before 11 pm, which hasn’t happened in a long time! It felt so good to take a break from schoolwork. I definitely needed it.

Another thing that I’ve been doing to start thriving is spending less time on social media, Netflix, and online in general. In order for me to thrive, I have to actually be living and not hiding behind my phone screen or laptop. I never realized how much time I spent online doing things that hold no value and didn't help me progress or get things done. In today's world, we can become so consumed with technology. I'm accustomed to using devices more often than not due to using my phone for work & contacting people and using a computer/my laptop for work this last summer everyday at each of my jobs. But that was necessary.

I know it is impossible for me to completely swear off technology and the Internet. I use my laptop to take notes in class, do assignments, listen to music, do some work for my dad, and email. I use my phone to listen to music, talk on the phone, check the weather, capture memories, Snapchat, and so much more. I don't need to do as much of that though. I can reduce the amount of time I spend on devices and increase the time I spend with people in person and making memories. I know I need to work more on thriving. I want to thrive for the rest of my life. When I look back on my life I want to see many days where I thrived, and not so many where I just survived. So here's to more days where I thrive, and not just survive.

Challenge: Work on living to thrive, not just survive. You can work on it slowly, one piece at a time, but keep at it. It will greatly influence your life and make you happier.

Reasoning Behind Why You Meet People

Have you ever thought about the reasoning behind why you meet certain people?

After having a conversation with my roommate yesterday, I've thought a lot about the reasoning behind things. Specifically the reasons for why we meet new people, become friends & become close to others. We were talking about when we meet someone new and felt that there was a specific reason we were supposed to know that person.

I had told her of an experience from last school year when I had received a priesthood blessing from my brother Jeremy. To preface the story, I was very sick one day, and went up to campus early to study for a test I had that afternoon. I was getting sicker & sicker by the minute. For some reason I texted Jeremy, told him how sick I was & that I didn't know what to do. He quickly suggested I come to the institute building to get a blessing!! I went over & got a blessing from Jeremy & his institute teacher. 

My oh my did I remember this blessing more than any other before!! Jeremy gave me an incredible blessing & I was so thankful for it. However, the one thing I recall so clearly is something he said completely unrelated to my health and healing. He said, "Bless you that you will have loving people come into your life." (Since we are pretty close & at the same university, we talk a lot. Jeremy knows just about everything. He knows that I've always struggled with friends & feeling loved. I often feel lonely.) Anyway, we hadn't talked recently about that. I know he was inspired to say that in the blessing. 

With a new school year comes meeting new people. I truly believe that some of the people I met last year were "loving people" and came into my life at just the right time to help me when I needed it most. Am I still close to those people? No, not all of them. I learned some crucial life lessons from those people and the experiences I had with those people. I went on to explain to my roommate that at the time, those people were loving people who were helping me and were there for me. Their purpose in my life evolved and changed as time went on. Regardless if I am no longer close to those people, I am still grateful for lessons learned from it and the reasonings why I met those people.

For some people, they fulfilled their purpose in my life in a short amount of time. God has a plan and will only keep the people in our lives that we need and that are there to help us, and vice versa. So when we have that feeling that we are supposed to meet someone and  know that person, it may be for a reason that is short-lived, or there may be a greater purpose behind it. Whatever it may be, follow those promptings. I have some of my best friends now because I followed those feelings I had that I was meant to get to know that person.

Always remember that everything happens for a reason. God will not put something or someone in your life that isn't supposed to be, at least for a certain amount of time. Take that in and relish in the fact that God has hand-picked some people to be in your life. How special is that?? When I think of that, I am filled with an incredible amount of comfort in knowing that.

Our God is so so good. Never forget that He is always mindful of you and has special purposes for why some people come into your life.

You Are Valued & You Aren't Your Mistakes

YOU matter. You are valued & cared for. You are not defined by your mistakes.

One thing I want to share & just shout from the rooftops to all the world is that message. Just because something happened or changed or you don't have the same people in your life that you used to, doesn't mean you are any less valued or mattered. There are still so so many people who care about you & love you. Regardless of what happens. I know this for a fact after having gone through trials & overcoming obstacles in my way. Don't ever let anyone tell you different.

You are not defined by the bad grade you got on an assignment. You are not defined by what might seem like dumb decisions you make, the amount of money you have, your job status or the job you have. You are not defined by a breakup. Bottom line is, you are not defined by materialistic things. What you are defined by is how you treat others, the love and care you show to those around you, compassion you emulate, and so much more than any material or worldly things.

I know how hard it can be to feel like you are defined by those things. I've been there many many times. I'm my worst critic and am the hardest on myself because I know what I can do and what I'm capable of achieving & where I've been before. I'm so hard on myself. And you know what? It doesn't do any good being so hard on myself. It makes things worse. Let it go.

Try to go easy on yourself and remember that you are valued regardless of your status, money, number of friends you have, or anything like that. I've felt unvalued because of a job I had where I didn't do much and felt like it was a waste of time for me. I've felt unvalued because I lost friends. When I feel this way, I know I need to somehow get out of this funk. I rely on others for help. I turn to my Heavenly Father in prayer & plead for help and just lay it all out on the table and say I can't do this on my own & need help. I know my family will always be there & that they have my back. I also have some pretty amazing friends who always lend a listening ear and jump at the opportunity to help me, you know who you are! I'm forever grateful and in debt to them!

I think you would be surprised if you knew just how many people truly care about you,  love you, and want the best for you. It might not seem like people are always there for you and care, but they do. It seems like someone sends me a note or does something to brighten my day whenever I am feeling down and really needed it the most.

I'm the biggest advocate for helping others and just being there for people whenever they need it. Please, if you are ever feeling down and need some help or just need to vent & need someone to listen, reach out to me!! I'm more than happy to help because I've been on that side of it numerous times.

Ally | Idaho Senior Photographer

Ally is the sweetest girl you will ever meet! She has such a sweet and genuine personality that is so fun. She loves photography, books, laughing, and has a love for life that is obvious. I admire her for the outlook she has on life. We had a blast at her session and laughed the whole time. Towards the end she really wanted some laughing photos so I pulled out the ol trusty like 3 bad jokes that I know to get some laughs haha! 

At the beginning we were talking about college and I gave her some advice on what I would do differently in my first years of school. The more we talked about college, we discovered that she is going to be studying marketing, just like me! & our minors are very similar too! I thought that was so cool! Congrats on graduation in a few weeks, Ally! Keep dreaming and always chase your dreams. I can tell she's going to go far.