If I’ve learned one thing from the things that have transpired over the course of the last six months or so, it is to have faith in the Lord and His plan. I started looking and applying to summer jobs/internships sometime in March and looked every couple days. Over the course of a couple months, I applied to more than fifty jobs. I only had a couple interviews. And all of that resulted in no job offers.
The week before school ended I had an interview for an internship for a public relations intern. It went well and I thought I had a good chance of getting the internship. However I got a call the next day that I did not get the internship. I was so frustrated since I thought that internship would be perfect for me & I’d be able to stay in Logan where many of my friends would be for the summer. I called my mom in between classes & expressed my frustrations & even joked I’d just hibernate so I wouldn’t have to deal with the struggle of finding a job. I had a few more classes that day & was stressed, frustrated, & annoyed with jobs & final projects. Later that day I got a call about an internship I hadn’t even applied for. A digital marketing company in my hometown needed an intern & my name came to mind when they were brainstorming. I was definitely interested in the job but needed to think about things for a few days.
I went back and forth in my mind over and over about it. The internship was an incredible opportunity: they were willing to help me learn new things, it was in the area of marketing I want to do, and all in all it seemed like too good of an opportunity to pass up. But it was in Idaho, and I wanted to stay in Logan for the summer. I was torn. I talked to one of my good friends and said I didn’t know what to do. He said, “Actually I think you do know what you need to do. You just don’t want to admit it.” That stopped me and I sheepishly admitted to him that I guess he was right and that I knew what I needed to do but didn’t want to.
I moved home and began working the week after I moved. The first day on the job I was so happy and loved my job. I remember talking to someone that night and telling them that it was only my first day but I already loved it. I still love my job, have learned so much, and met some awesome people at work, but it’s been tough moving home. I figured it would be hard moving home for a few reasons. My brother and some of my friends also told me it’d be hard moving home and tried to get me to stay in Logan. The Sunday after I had decided that I was taking this job and moving home, I had a realization that maybe as much as I wanted to stay in Logan I was needed at home for some reason. I wasn’t sure what that was or what it entailed, but that I simply needed to be at home either for other people or for myself. It has since been made evident to me that I was needed at home to help my family with some things and to meet new co-workers who I’ve become friends with. Now with that said, it hasn’t all been good being home this summer.
I’ve struggled and had a tough time being home. Most days are good, but some are hard, really hard. One night I texted my brother and vented to him and let out all my frustrations while I was sitting on the ground in the dark, crying. I’ve stayed up way too late because I was so in my head and thinking. I’ve complained and vented to people or even talked to someone to just get my mind off things. Through all of this, I’ve kept my faith. Yeah sure, it would have been easier to give up on some things and say it’s not worth it. I could have given up on applying for jobs in Logan soon after I started looking for summer jobs. However, I was determined to keep going and not let this beat me.
A quote from one of my fave shows that has stuck with me is, “Faith wouldn’t be real faith if you only believe when things are good.” Ever since I heard that quote, I’ve clung to it. Back when I was applying for job after job and trying to figure out what I was doing after spring semester, I was praying about what to do and where I should be at. I never got a straight answer about that. What I did get was revelation and thoughts to hold onto my faith and be patient. In sacrament meeting talks, relief society lessons, and institute, the thing that always stood out to me was exactly that: “have faith and be patient.” I even received a few priesthood blessings and in every single one, they said in the blessing something along the lines of blessing me to be patient and trust the Lord.
I can remember three blessings I received. Out of the men who blessed me, only my brother knew about what I was going through and the frustrations I was having. This truly testified to me that I needed to be patient since Heavenly Father was speaking to both my grandpa and my best friend in the blessing about me needing patience and faith. I thought that maybe I’d get a job after applying to a certain number of jobs or that something great would work out and I could stay in Logan. As time went on, I quickly became frustrated and was left wondering what in the world it was that I needed to be patient for and wait for. At times I wanted to yell out to God and ask, “What am I waiting for? What are you trying to teach me? Just what is it??” But nonetheless I kept being as patient as I could and kept exercising faith. It wasn’t until the week before finals and the week before I had to be out of my apartment that something happened and a job worked out. I’m still patiently waiting to see what else is in store. But for now I’m going to keep having faith, especially in the hard times.
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