Many things have been on my mind lately, but one particular night at a baseball game a couple weeks ago something stuck out to me. I watched as people young and old seemed to be dressing, acting, and pretending to be someone or something else simply just to fit in and be like others. Teenagers and people from middle school to college aged are always striving to do the next big thing to fit in. I've seen numerous people around me and some close to me do whatever they could to fit in whether that be liking a certain sports team, buying material possessions, listening to a new popular song, saying the latest slang term or "cool" phrase, and so much more.

In today’s world we are inundated with numerous social media platforms, smart phones, and constantly being “plugged in” to something. The majority of our days are spent in front of screens (I work on a computer all day..), and on those screens are unrealistic pictures and videos that set expectations for all areas of our life - our appearance, vacations we take, friends we have and things we do, material possessions, food we eat and cook, lifestyles we live, workouts we do, and SO MUCH MORE. These expectations are more often than not, beyond what is easily attainable.

Trying to fit in can be a constant struggle especially for younger kids and teenagers, even in college as you are trying to figure out who you really are and where you want to go in life. Once you realize that you are changing what you do and how you act to fit in, stop it. Take a step back and ask yourself why you are really doing those things. If you are changing for the better and not just to fit in, do it! But changing just to fit in is the wrong thing.

We’ve all done various things to fit in with the rest of the world. I admit I have done it. We all have. That can be shown in the sports teams we start to be fans of as part of a bandwagon, how we act to be “cool”, the clothes we wear to be “on trend”, and more. But why do we waste time, money, and energy just to fit in? But what’s the point of fitting in?

No two of us were born exactly alike. Because each of us are different we all bring different things to the table. It truly is what makes the world go round because we all have different strengths and weaknesses in various areas of our life that end up all woven together to create the world we live in.

“I used to hate not fitting in until I realized I was born to stand out.” I’ve had this realization many times over & over through by teenage years of figuring out who I am & what I want to do & need to do with my life. Be proud to stand out & not fit in. I challenge you to not fit in and stand out by being YOU! I’m challenging myself to do that very thing too. Be you. 

I'm Not Falling Behind, It's Just Not My Time

Julissa Loaiza said, “I know people who graduated college at 21, and didn’t get a salary job until they are 27. I know people who graduated at 25 and already had a salary job. I know people who have children and are single. I know people who are married and had to wait 8-10 years to be parents. I know people who are in a relationship and love someone else. I know people who love each other and aren’t together. There are people waiting to love and be loved. My point is, everything in life happens according to our time, our clock. You may look at your friends and some may seem to be ahead or behind you, but they’re not, they’re living according to the pace of their clock, so be patient. You’re not falling behind, it’s just not your time.”

I’m the one who graduated college and has a salary job. I am waiting to love and be loved. I know it isn’t my time for things and that I need to be patient. I’m trying to learn and be okay with the realization that I”m not falling behind in life and certain milestones. I am not falling behind, it's just not my time. It will one day come, just not now. 

(How I feel about being a working adult sometimes)

Since I’ve graduated college & have closed that chapter of my life, I’ve found myself in a very different & weird stage of life. Most everyone my age is still in school. Many are married or dating. I am working full-time, graduated from college, and not in a relationship. I’ve only been graduated for just over two months (it's official now that my diploma has arrived!!), but in that short time I’ve compared myself and where I am at in life to everyone around me. I try not to compare myself to others but how can you not when your life seems so different from everyone else?

There are very few people my age in my situation. I often feel out of place and feel like I don’t belong because I don’t have classes to talk about, don't have many friends to do things with, and am not in a relationship. Even at church and with my roommates I feel out of place at times because it seems I don’t have as much in common with them anymore. Particularly with social media showing the fun things people are doing on breaks from school when I don’t get those breaks from school and usually still have to work on those days. 

My day to day life has changed from attending classes and doing homework to working an adult job with clients. I don’t have homework to do at night (hallelujah!). Rather, I have time to work on things for myself and actually cook more. I have time to learn new things and relax more. Some nights I'm working late to finish projects or get my hours in if I didn't feel well earlier during my usual working hours. I am often at home by myself.

Because I work from home, any opportunities to meet new people or even be around people has changed for me. I work remotely so I don't go into an office and work with co-workers and have that interaction. I don't see people in my classes and on campus like I used to. I don't have the chance to see people as often and meet new people like I used to. 

With all these recent changes in my life with graduating, working full-time, and feeling more on my own, I’m learning to try not to compare where I am at in my life to where someone else is since we are all in such different phases of life. Here’s to enjoying where I’m at in life right now & not comparing my phase to theirs. 

I will keep reminding myself this: "I'm not falling behind, it's just not my time."