I'm Not Falling Behind, It's Just Not My Time

Julissa Loaiza said, “I know people who graduated college at 21, and didn’t get a salary job until they are 27. I know people who graduated at 25 and already had a salary job. I know people who have children and are single. I know people who are married and had to wait 8-10 years to be parents. I know people who are in a relationship and love someone else. I know people who love each other and aren’t together. There are people waiting to love and be loved. My point is, everything in life happens according to our time, our clock. You may look at your friends and some may seem to be ahead or behind you, but they’re not, they’re living according to the pace of their clock, so be patient. You’re not falling behind, it’s just not your time.”

I’m the one who graduated college and has a salary job. I am waiting to love and be loved. I know it isn’t my time for things and that I need to be patient. I’m trying to learn and be okay with the realization that I”m not falling behind in life and certain milestones. I am not falling behind, it's just not my time. It will one day come, just not now. 

(How I feel about being a working adult sometimes)

Since I’ve graduated college & have closed that chapter of my life, I’ve found myself in a very different & weird stage of life. Most everyone my age is still in school. Many are married or dating. I am working full-time, graduated from college, and not in a relationship. I’ve only been graduated for just over two months (it's official now that my diploma has arrived!!), but in that short time I’ve compared myself and where I am at in life to everyone around me. I try not to compare myself to others but how can you not when your life seems so different from everyone else?

There are very few people my age in my situation. I often feel out of place and feel like I don’t belong because I don’t have classes to talk about, don't have many friends to do things with, and am not in a relationship. Even at church and with my roommates I feel out of place at times because it seems I don’t have as much in common with them anymore. Particularly with social media showing the fun things people are doing on breaks from school when I don’t get those breaks from school and usually still have to work on those days. 

My day to day life has changed from attending classes and doing homework to working an adult job with clients. I don’t have homework to do at night (hallelujah!). Rather, I have time to work on things for myself and actually cook more. I have time to learn new things and relax more. Some nights I'm working late to finish projects or get my hours in if I didn't feel well earlier during my usual working hours. I am often at home by myself.

Because I work from home, any opportunities to meet new people or even be around people has changed for me. I work remotely so I don't go into an office and work with co-workers and have that interaction. I don't see people in my classes and on campus like I used to. I don't have the chance to see people as often and meet new people like I used to. 

With all these recent changes in my life with graduating, working full-time, and feeling more on my own, I’m learning to try not to compare where I am at in my life to where someone else is since we are all in such different phases of life. Here’s to enjoying where I’m at in life right now & not comparing my phase to theirs. 

I will keep reminding myself this: "I'm not falling behind, it's just not my time."